8. Because I have waaaaaaaay too much time on my hands.

9. Because quivering with outrage over something that just isn’t right is just what guys do.

10. Because I dutifully worked 80 hours a week to get here, and they should, too. Hey, get a real job, losers! Begging or selling your little Etsy things is not a real job!

Instead, work for Edelman, a PR firm that covertly manipulates public opinion so people will buy their clients’ products or forgive their clients’ crimes and misdemeanors. You’re just not deceiving people bigly enough!

11. Because South Koreans, being non-white, are probably too naive or stupid to figure out that these are mostly middle-class kids who are taking advantage of them. And the poor South Koreans — they’re doubly stupid!

Superwhitedude to the rescue!