I’m Not One Hundred Percent Sure That Pandemics Bring Out the Best in Me

New kinds of dubious freedom notwithstanding

THERE AIN’T NOTHIN’ IN THIS WHOLE wide world angrier than a white American CoronaZombie told they can’t go to their vacation home. Let my people go! Tell old Pharaoh! Or at least Alex Jones.

I’m conflating a bit. The rather freakazoid people seen above are in Ohio; the people who can’t go to their vacation homes, well, there may be others, but as far as I know they are the white people of Michigan, whose governor, a Democrat and a woman, Gretchen Whitmer, has enacted just about the most rigorous stay-at-home orders in the US.

She’s had to, because apparently Michigan generally and Detroit specifically have extremely high rates of infection, the brunt of this borne by, and I hope you were holding your breath because, of course, black people.

Black people, many of them being the people who have the jobs that keep society moving during a lethal pandemic, the fast-food workers, the health care workers, the grocery store staff, the front liners in essential businesses, have, of course, got it covered about who is going to get that fuzzy end of the coronavirus lollipop.

But the white people, the angry outraged spluttering CoronaZombies, have grabbed…