I’m usually allergic to “x reasons why y” pieces, but your opening anecdote got me in a very sensitive spot.

It is a terrible thing to crush someone’s happiness and buoyant mood. I’m easily discouraged and I learned early on to be very careful who I shared hopes, dreams and goals with. I made sure to find one or two mentors or true friends who I could talk to without worrying that their first instinct would be to kick my spirit down a ladder.

I think people like that are worse than just socially inept — they approach sociopathic. But whatever you call them, I learned that when most people voice opinions at you, they’re really telling you about themselves, not you. About their own fears and failures. It doesn’t always help in the moment to know that, however.

All the other caveats I thought were very valid and helpful as well. It all comes down to paying attention to others in a way.

If this were a paper magazine, your piece would be on my refrigerator door, and there is no greater compliment in my world.

DR